Should You Look After Number One?

Get more assertive. That’s one of my New Year’s Resolutions, and one I think I share with a few people out there too. 

Not in a mean or nasty way, but in a more positive and productive way.  

In fact, thinking about it now, I’m not entirely certain about what exactly it means, or entails. It’s kind of hard to explain. Oh great, a copywriter who can’t write something down! 

Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive or forceful, not listening to other people, and proceeding blind and head strong into things, a case of my way or the highway type thinking. Not at all. And it doesn’t mean being selfish.

But perhaps it does mean being less selfless. 

That’s to say, looking after number one a little more often. 

For anyone who knows me, they’ll tell you that on the whole, I’m not a selfish person. Sure, I have my moments, just like we all do, but generally, I will go out of my way to help other people. At work, I’ll always help out whenever and wherever I can, and I’ll always support my friends, and make every effort to do what I can for them. 

But honestly, sometimes - it’s a huge drag. Because often, it’s a thankless task, and sometimes an ungrateful one too. It’s easy to say “yes I’ll do that for you”, “yeah I can help with it”, “don’t worry, I’ll come to you.” But every now and then, it’d be nice to have something in return, or have something done for me. 

Because when I sit back and think about the time and effort that goes into things, I realise I’m helping out people to the neglect of my own work, and my own needs. And while I agree that everyone should be charitable and that everyone should be nice to friends, family and colleagues, sometimes, we just need to do things for ourselves.  

That way, we can develop, grow and improve, and be in a better position to help people in the future. We can’t help other people, if we’re not helping ourself. So, it’s a case of being a little bit selfish, and thinking about the old marketing saying “what’s in it for me?” 

And that might be saying no more often, not being taken for granted, and annoying one or two people occasionally. It might be being a bit selfish, and getting our own way every now and then. But in the long run, it will benefit everyone, because we’ll be more relaxed, happier, more productive, and just in a better overall position. 

Besides which, being more assertive definitely has applications in other situations. 

I’ve never been one for complaining publicly (in private, I’ll moan about everything!), unless it really came down to the wire. Well being more assertive, I’m hoping I’ll be able to complain legitimately much more often, particularly about poor customer service, my biggest bug bare. Maybe I’ll end up being one of those people who always gets free stuff and upgrades and all that jazz, simply because they’re happy to voice their opinion. 

In group situations too, you always need someone who is assertive. Decisions on which bar to go to next, where to eat, or what to do are always a long drawn out process when you’re in a big group, or even in a small group for that matter. All it takes is one person being assertive to say, “right, we’re going here”, and you could save a lot of hassle. 

So, here it is, written down. Another New Year’s Resolution. And just blogging, for me, is thinking about number one. Day one therefore - a success. 

P.S. Check back in a couple of days to see an example of how not to be assertive! And what good customer service is like.